All gods who receive homage are cruel. All gods dispense suffering without reason. Otherwise they would not be worshipped. Through indiscriminate suffering men know fear and fear is the most divine emotion. It is the stones for altars and the beginning of wisdom. Half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. Real gods require blood.
When I look back at the past and think of all the time I squandered in error and idleness, lacking the knowledge I needed to live; when I think of how I sinned against my heart and my soul, then my heart bleeds. Life is a gift, life is happiness … Every minute could have been an eternity of happiness! If youth only knew. Now my life will change, now I will be reborn.
Fyodor Dostoevsky, in a letter to his brother after his death sentence was converted to four years of hard labor in Siberia
. (via petersbourgeoises
How stupid not to be able to speak to her. She looked so kind. She looked so unhappy. Why couldn’t two unhappy people refresh each other on their way through this dusty business of life by a little talk, - real, natural talk, about what they felt, what they would have liked, what they still tried to hope?
Elizabeth Von Arnim, The Enchanted April.
Your name, merely your name, floods my brain to a point of sweet disgust.